To the clever fuck who's taken to relieving himself on my doorframe every night - if you're reading these words, pay attention! I've purchased a top-notch dwarven crossbow at market and am going to sit by my window, day in and day out, till the end of the world, if I have to, waiting for you to show again. So unless you want a bolt between your eyes or up your hiney, go empty your water somewhere else, you dirty hooligan!
Innkeepers Beware! If you encounter a gentleman by the name of Odrin, have nothing to do with him, unless it's reporting him to the city guard. This miscreant slept in my inn for well on three weeks, then decamped without paying a copper of his bill, and on his way out stole a cask of wine a silver dining set meant for our wealthier guests' use.