The Taxman Cometh is a secondary quest in The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt expansion pack Hearts of Stone in which Geralt runs into a tax collector in Oxenfurt's markets. The taxman asks him a few questions to clear up a flood of undeclared income Geralt has obtained throughout his journey.
This quest triggers only if Geralt is in possession of 35,000 crowns or more.
Quest Description Edit
- "Though he carried several pounds of silver on his back at all times, Geralt was usually quite coin-poor. Quality witcher gear costs a fortune, the rewards for his contracts were often meager and he often found it hard to resist splurging on rare gwent cards."
Talk to the Deputy Tax Enumerator Edit
A man will stop you and ask if you are Geralt of Rivia. He introduces himself as the Deputy Tax Enumerator Walthemor Mitty, representing the Revenue and Customs for Occupied Temeria (Dorian branch). He claims there have been reports that you've come into a great deal of coin, so quickly it's raised suspicions. Whether you chose to gladly clear them up with him or slug your way out of it, you are forced to answer some questions.
- Question #1 - Have you ever engaged in the wholesale trade of rawhide in the White Orchard area? - This is in reference to the glitch where you would kill the cows in White Orchard to sell their hides and milk. You can answer either yes or no.
- Question #2 - Have you ever engaged in the acquisition of bivalves with the express intention of selling the pearls therein? - This is in reference to a quick turnaround where you would buy sea shells, dismantle them for pearls, and sell them for a high profit. You can answer either yes or no.
- Question #3 - Have you ever waltzed into someone's home and taken something without their permission? You can answer either yes or no.
If you answered no to two or more of the exploit questions, he will hand you a diploma and bestow on you the title of Taxpayer in Good Standing. Suggesting you frame it, hang it in a place of honor.
Pay Back Your TaxesEdit
If you answered yes to two or more of the exploit questions, he will hand you a summons to pay back your taxes. You will then have to report to the Vivaldi Bank in Novigrad with the document and pay a total of 1000 Crowns to pay it all off.
Additional Info Edit
Closing Quest Description Edit
- "Geralt patiently explained to the tax collector that he had made his modest fortune honestly, without breaking any of the tax codes numerous rules. Deputy Tax Enumerator Walthemor Mitty was so impressed by his honesty he awarded the witcher a commemorative vellum diploma. He advised Geralt to hang it somewhere at Kaer Morhen - above the mantle, if possible.
The audit ended with Geralt receiving a summons for the payment of back taxes. A rather unpleasant turn of events, but what could Geralt do? Fighting the Wild Hunt's one thing, but taking on the tax office... that could get him in real trouble."
- If you answered no to all the exploit questons and recieve the diploma, you will recieve 21xp for completing the quest. If you however have to pay the 1000 Crowns to the Vivaldi Bank, you will recieve an additional 100xp for paying the taxes.
- This quest was added to the game as a joke by the developers, in response to the discovery of several exploitable situations in the game, resulting in players obtaining extremely high amounts of coin relatively quickly (the most popular of which are referenced in the quest dialogue).
- Walthemor Mitty is likely a reference to the titular character in "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty".