Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls of Granite! is a secondary quest in the Blood and Wine expansion for The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. In it, someone has stolen the "crown jewels" from the statue of Reginald d'Aubry.
Wanted: Discreet Specialist
Wanted: professional to investigate mystery concerning Reginald d'Aubry's statue. Requirements: indomitable work ethic, absolute discretion and refinement in supernatural situations. Desirable: immaculate presentation, aesthetic sensitivity and knowledge of modern sculpture.
For details, please see Rolande de Flakfizer, Curator of Art and Collectibles.

Journal entry Edit

On one of the notice boards of Beauclair Geralt found a very interesting contract. A certain man was looking for a discrete specialist in the supernatural. Geralt had the feeling this was directed at someone more or less just like him.
Geralt lets Hughes borrow the "stones" or directly takes them back:
Geralt was able to retrieve "Beauclair's most valuable jewels" and Reginald d'Aubry's statue was once again made whole. Thanks to this, both the curator and a great number of local matrons were highly satisfied, people in general were more relaxed and merry, a bumper crop of children was on its way and tourism to Beauclair reached new heights. All thanks to a humble witcher.
Geralt lets Hughes keep the "stones":
Geralt tracked down the thief and confronted him, only to be confronted himself with a most atypical offer. The man wanted to borrow "Beauclair's most valuable jewels" for a few more days so he could... finish some things. Geralt showed understanding (a nod being as good as a wink to our worldly friend) and promised to return in a week. Do you know the saying about the butterfly that flaps its wings in Kovir and causes a hurricane in Cintra? All decisions have entirely unpredictable consequences, and this was no exception – the poor Hughes' heart could not bear his amatory gusto and burst from overexertion. The witcher was left with half his reward and a guilty conscience.

Walkthrough Edit

  • Talk to the art curator.
  • Looking into the case (both options available):
    • When'd they disappear?
    • Any suspects?
  • Using your Witcher Senses, investigate the crime scene.
  • Using your Witcher Senses, follow the scent.
  • Enter the house.
    • Don't like your tone.
    • Just wanna talk. (×)
      • Stop. I'm no idiot.
      • A hero, you say... (×)
  • The husband arriveth:
    • Not gonna repeat myself.
    • Defeat the attacker.
    • [Axii] Go home. (×) (40 Tw3 icon xp)
  • Strike a deal:
    • Fine. (~100 Tw3 icon xp, 50Oren3)
      • Wait 7 days and return to Hughes for your reward.
      • Return to Hughes for the second part of your reward.
      • Hughes died.
    • Nope. Need to take 'em.
    • Willing to lend them to you. (×)
      • Wait 1 day.
      • Return to Hughes.
        • Reginald statue's genitals
  • Talk to the art curator.

Trivia Edit

Notes Edit

  • Once Sir Reginald d'Aubry's manhood has been restored, touching the fig leaf confers a Buff called "the Power of Reginald" which Grants 60:00 of Unlimited Endurance.(i.e. Run and never get Tired.) The Statue is in Lolivier Square on the Street above the The Adder and Jewels Winery.

Video Edit

The Witcher 3- Blood and Wine - Stolen Testicles

The Witcher 3- Blood and Wine - Stolen Testicles

Gallery Edit