And so, I, Jacob the Rebel, once well-known as a libertine and brawler extraordinaire from Nazair with its myriad taverns to the wilds of Zerrikania, used what strength I had left to pull my craft ashore. The raft I had strapped together out of an old boot, bits of strap and a burst barrel had taken on so much water that two ells more and I'd have sunk to the bottom. Instead, I stood on dry land, and that was all that mattered. With not a living soul in sight and my stomach growling something mighty, I began to explore. The isle was bereft of game, but offered fruit in great abundance. I ate so heartily the juice nearly poured out my ears, and then I began to gather wood with which to build my shelter for the night and fuel the fire that would warm me.
It was then I came upon the strange plant that would change my life till the end of my days. Ignorant of its value at this time, I frivolously used it for kindling. Yet as soon as it began to smolder and its sweet scent filled my nostrils, I felt light and the coastal breeze whisked all my troubles away.
I devoted the subsequent years of my life to researching this miraculous weed and its properties. As a result, I was able to develop a method that is likely to transform the life of any who puts it into practice. Here is how to begin... (...)